Crazy Christian and the Atheist....

Dear Diary,

I have had some interesting dates lately and so have my girlfriends.  One of girls was so similar to my recent fiasco that I must share it with you! SO- I assume you remember my last entry about the atheist. If not here is the catch up- went out with an atheist. Basicly, I could work with him if he was open to consider other view points but he was not. In his mind we are nothing but plant food and all those enlightened Buddhists are full of shit too. "I'm not buying it," he said. SO I had to say goodbye and put it out there that just friends is the only relationship I am capable of having with someone who has polar opposite beliefs as me.
Funny thing happened right around the same time. My neighbor who is awesome, went out a few times with this super cool guy.  They totally hit it off from the start. Date four comes and he takes her to lunch with his brother and his girlfriend. They have a blast and when he drops her back at home he tells her there is something he needs to talk to her about. It went something to the effect of this- "I need to be honest with you. I am really getting into Christianity and believe every word in the bible to be true." Okay, not ideal but I am always down to get behind finding one's spirituality. Mine is a very important part of my life. I pray/meditate daily. He then proceeds to say this: "I believe the Apocalypse is coming in January 2013 and I don't see the point of getting into anything serious right now. I mean you're a great girl and I want to friends, but I just thought you needed to know where I am coming from." SAY WHAT? LMFAO! Because he was dead serious, I think honestly that could be the funniest dating conversation I have ever heard of. I have heard lame excuses to end things but the Apocalypse? Really? So there you have it; I get the atheist and she gets Apocalypse guy.  Weird month for dating in Hollywood I tell you! Even more so then regular-
Happy Dating!

Love ya!
VK

Boy do I need to catch up on my Blogging!

Dear Diary,

Things have been crazy in my world these last few weeks!!  I have so much to tell you. Keep posted in the next week I will be catching up on all the unreported details of my dating world.

So, I met a really sweet guy at a networking function. We have gone out a few times.  He is from Australia and wicked cute. He is a total gentleman, gives great advice, is close with his family, is as driven as me with his career, dresses nice and is fun to hang out with. We have been out a few times and still haven't done anything but make out a bit and that is fine with me. I am taking it slow with guys these days. I am pulling an Adan from Sex and the City and waiting till I see a future with someone before I really hook up. This going well, it actually gives you a lot more power then I am use to and that is nice. On our last date he dropped some knowledge that I am sad to hear and unsure what to do with. He told me that he doesn't believe in God because he is an atheist.  Awe Man!!! Really? It totally sucks because he is soooooo nice, cute and fun! Does there always have to be a catch? Now, I am not the most conventional Christian out there by any stretch of the imagination but I definitely have my convictions. I owe all my success to my connection with God and our co-creation of my life. I have very new age beliefs in my practices but one beacon of my strength is that there is God with a never ending energy source of Love and Healing available to you when ever you ask for it. But somehow, this guy honestly thinks when we  die we are plant food. What do I do with this information? Should i walk away or should I try to educate him on my beliefs and convictions.  Maybe we met so I could persuade him to come back to the light? Why is it that instead of walking away from anything or anyone damaged I always find it my responsibility to fix them? I don't know the answers to these questions but I do know I am going out with him one more time.  I am just going to be honest and really asses what is going on with him and his beliefs and go from there. He is so cool that at the very least maybe we can transition our relationship to being just friends but honestly, I am not really looking for another guy friend I am looking for someone to love.

I will keep ya'll posted with the findings. In the mean time- HAPPY DATING!

Love Ya!

V

Girls gotta eat...

Dear Diary,

This year has been very fun, so far I am a fan of 2012!! The last couple of weeks I have had some interesting conversations with the guys I have been out with. The guy I thought was going to be too boring has proved to be just that. Not boring like a drag but more so there just isn't a spark. We went on our 2nd date and the movie kind of sucked so on the way out he was like, "I'm sorry that was lame, please let me make it up to you!" Sure, why not? He drove me home and we didn't kiss. Just hugged. On the drive home he mentioned a few times that he would definitely make it up next time. So mid week comes around and he sends me a text asking if I was free Saturday night. I say maybe and ask what he had in mind? Being that he was planning to make up for a lame movie I was relatively interested in what he was going to say. He then comes back with this- "A friend of mine is doing a reading with some other authors about marriage." Oh Lordy! You have to be fucking with me right? Oh no, not even a little. Seriously, you lost me at marriage. No part of a book reading on the topic of marriage sounds remotely fun to me!  Okay it's one thing to put this out there on a random Tuesday. But it's another to hype out this date and then come through with something even lamer than the last.... I ended up having friends in from out of town- or so I said. The guy is great with conversation and is super nice so I went out with him one last time- because he said my favorite word- Sushi. I said yes to his dinner invite to have some good food, a little sake and with the hopes that maybe a hint of undercover coolness might surface. Unfortunately it did not. I let him know ahead of time I had birthday plans with friends around 11pm.  He was cool with making it an early one. What sucks the most is I am in an uncomfortable position now. It would be rude of me to blow him off but I don't want to make a date with him just to tell him I don't want to date him!! Grr... What to do? Here are my thoughts on the subject of ending things with someone: If you haven't had a heavy make out session then it is still appropriate to end things via text message, blow off, or phone call. Thoughts on this anyone?

On a completely different note there is another guy I have also been talking to. He and I had a very interesting conversation the other night. This guy is totally cool, pretty cute, and super fun. We have hung out a few times at this point but have not slept together. I am not one to just give it up these days. In the search for mister right I find myself dating too many men at once to be giving it up to just anyone. I have to really be into you, or really drunk. So we were on my couch and he tells me he doesn't want anything serious. Okay I can dig that because I don't know if I want anything serious with this guy. I am not completely sold on him.  He is a great kisser and super fun but the list of annoying qualities is rising each time we hang. Here is the funny part about that conversation. Immediately after he says that he doesn't want anything serious he tells me he also isn't cool with me sleeping with other guys. Say What? Let me get this straight I say. "So you don't want to be with me and yet you don't want me to be with anyone else?" Really guy? Do you hear yourself speaking right now? But this was an honest request from him. I just looked at him and said "let's wait till we decide to sleep with each other before we make the rules." Fuck guys are very weird. I'm just saying. That is so hypocritical and selfish. You want me all to yourself while at the same time not giving anything in return. Oh well better luck next time I guess.  I don't know if I will go out with either of those guys again. Maybe I will but that's only because a girls gotta eat!! 

Happy Dating Y'all!!

Ever walked out on a date before?

Dear Diary,

I love the process of getting ready for a first date. The possibilities are endless. Will we get along? Will we start dating? Is he going to kiss me? The butterflies that tend to build the closer it gets to the actual date are fantastic. Then there is the question of what to wear. You basically size up a relative stranger to decide whats appropriate. You don't want to be too fancy and make him feel bad for not dressing up enough. You also don't want to be a bum. I tend to go off of the place we are going. I judge how hot to get by where he is taking me. If we are going to Katana and then a posh bar after I will lean towards a basic dress and heels or boots. However, if it's Umami Burger followed by a wine bar then skinny jeans and some heels. If someone asks you to the movies on a first date that isn't really a good sign. Because a first date is all about getting to know the other person and seeing if you have enough in common to want to hang out again. You can't really do this while sitting next to each other looking at strangers talk on a movie screen. 

This cutie from the gym that has been flirting with me finally asked me out. He first approached me after a hip hop class. The gym in Hollywood I workout at has floor to ceiling windows behind the class giving all the guys working out with weights a prime view of us shaking it. This particular class leans  more towards sexy hip hop than breaker hip hop. I like both styles and I have been dancing them for a long time. I get the routines quickly and put my own flavor on them.  Being asked out after this class happens to me every couple months. So this Tall hottie was super nervous when he came up to me, which I found endearing. We talk a couple more times and he gets my number. Finally he asks me if I want to catch a drink somewhere local in Hollywood. So I figure my style would be casual with heels. The date started off well enough. Good conversation he seems like a total sweetheart. He suggests one of my favorite spots the Piano Bar: Score!  We are about an hour and a half in to the date when he kisses me. Okay, not ideal timing but what the hell. Then he kisses me again. Thing is his kisses were way too much, kinda aggressive. So I turn my whole body away from him to watch the band.  I am looking to the left and he is sitting on my right. He grabs my head and literally turns it towards him then sticks his tongue down my throat. Whoa buddy!! I pull back and say "easy there tiger" with a smile. I decide I need a change of scenery and a weapon.  Lets go play pool! That way we have an activity and I have a stick. Anyone who knows pool knows there are a few simple rules winner keeps the table and the new player has a chance to take it from him. So when our quarters are up Gym Guy is in the bathroom and I rack the balls. Upon his return he gets pretty bothered that I am playing with another guy. Me and the guy try and explain the rules to him and he doesn't really get it. He then starts to push beer down my throat. Literally pushing my drink towards me so I drink more.  I say I have to work early in the morning and I need to go home. On the drive he is trying to convince me to come back to his place and watch a move. I am wondering in my head "what part of this date seemed like it was going well?" I say no thanks and he becomes a jerk. We are at a stop light a couple blocks from my place and I call him out. I say "are you really being a dick because I won't come home with you on our first date?" He says nothing. I say "alrighty than," open my car door, exit the vehicle and proceed to walk home. WOW. Who knew someone seemingly so sweet would be such a dbag?!?  Another one bites the dust I guess. I have a second date with a super nice guy tonight and I couldn't be more excited. The guy is a total gentleman. I didn't know after our first date if he would be too boring for me but after the jackass from the gym a kind gentleman is all I want. 

As usual I plan to report back. In the mean time- HAPPY DATING!!

Love,

VK

How to be a "Man Eater"

Dear Diary,

As a rule I have found that the guys that I want don't call but the guys I don't want tend to become obsessed with me.  Take the guy I have been kinda talking to lately for example.  This week I went straight into a project off the holiday not leaving me time to recover from my New Years Eve Shenanigans. I had a fantastic time with this guy I met over the holiday season. He is really cool but  I have not been in the mood to chat on the phone with anyone. So I haven't returned any of his calls. As a result he has been calling me twice as much and of coarse that has been driving me nuts. For example: he called me wed 7:30pm I missed it and went to bed early because I had to be on set crazy early the next day. He called again at 10:20pm, the next morning at 6:47am then again at 10:20am.  His messages indicated that he was worried about me because, "it wasn't like me to not call him back." How does he know what I am like? We have only gone out a few times. Anyone who truly knows me knows I am the worst about calling back and I totally go into phone hibernation. He is a complete sweetie but this obsessive calling has put up a definite red flag.
Why is it that the guys I am into do the opposite?  Is it that I have a habit of choosing unavailable guys so I don't get hurt? Maybe. I think it is just a result of the chase that men crave so much.  The New Year has given me a chance to step back and reflect on this past year's relationships and I have found a common pattern. The guys I blow off become obsessed with me yet the guys I invest time in seem to bail out. Upon this realization I was reminded of some advice I received this past October.
I was helping my friend who is a Soap Star get ready for her wedding when she felt the need to pass down her secrets to me. Now, this girl is definitely beautiful and fantastic but she isn't drop dead gorgeous.  However, she has had relationships with a big time Rock Star (7years together), Oscar winners, major producers and other men of high stature. She is what you would call a "man eater." So when I asked her how she does it she gave me her game plan.  To my horror I have been using it backwards!
Step one- I have down- confidence.  When you meet a guy you need to hold yourself with total and complete confidence. Leave the conversation before it's reached it's natural ending. That way he is left wondering what possibly could be more important than him that you needed to run off to.
Step two- do and say the opposite of what you think and feel.  If you want to tell him how much you missed him since your last date- don't! Instead say something like- "Wow, has it already been a whole week? I didn't realize." I know this one sounds pretty wonky and I have a very hard time putting it into action. She is a Gemini and I am a Scorpio. It is in my nature to be and do exactly what I am and feel. Geminis however do this duality with ease because that is what they are all about. But more specifically she was advising against the common practice I call "girling out" You want to send one more text and have the last word not matter what the cost. She advises don't do it. Leave him wanting more and wondering why you didn't respond.
Step three- double book your nights, break plans and meet up at parties instead of having him pick you up. Try and always have your own car with you.
She gave me more specific tips that I will pass to you after I have put them to work.  In the mean time these 3 steps are the basics to how she lands and keeps all these amazing men.  Basically she advises me to always leave them wanting more. I am %100 confident that I can put this new way of dating into action... For research purposes of coarse.
The thing is- I know this works because I have been doing this all my life unknowingly.  But unfortunately it has been with the guys I don't want. No wonder they have become obsessed. So this year I am going to try and put it into action with the guys I do want. Instead of blowing off the ones I don't like I plan to communicate with them that I am not interested and hopefully no one will get hurt in the process. Wish me luck. We'll see how it goes. As usual I promise to report back with my findings.

Love ya'll and Happy Dating!!!
VK