Dear Diary,
I went on a super fun blind double date with my good girlfriend this last weekend. Not expecting anything, I was presently surprised with the guy she and her man set me up with. He's successful, fun and looks like a taller-younger Richard Gere! We have some drinks then proceed to Karaoke the night away. I won't admit this out loud, in fact if you ask me straight away I will say' "yeah it's alright", but in reality Karaoke is like my Favorite thing to do when I am drinking! So, as the night progresses him and I start to get cozy and decide we are going back to his place so we can have some time just the two of us. He offers a night cap with champagne on his balcony. This seems really promising! Somehow this guy knows my weakness for karaoke and Champagne on balconies?!? Sweet!! I had to work at noon the next day. We set alarms and proceed to "Go to Bed." I am fully enforcing the underpants stay on rule and he is doing his best to be a guy and work around that rule. I completely stick to my guns and we fall asleep. While we were sleeping, unfortunately my phone died causing us to oversleep!!!
But that's not all that happened while we were asleep. In a mad dash to get me home we are speeding along in traffic when he asks me this.... "theoretically speaking, are you on any kind of birth control?" I say maybe and ask him what's up. He proceeds to tell me that he is 99% sure that we had sex last night sometime after we fell asleep!?! EXCUSE ME? SAY WHAT? I tell him that I don't think that is a possibility. He keeps on with the birth control 3rd degree because he is that convinced that we did. All the while assuring me that he isn't in the habit of having sex with sleeping girls. Yet he is CONVINCED that with me he did. ? OKAY- Here is the deal- I had my monthly visitor and there was absolutely no way we could have had sex because my instrument was still in place holing down the flow- if ya know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean then you are too young to be reading this! What gets me is that even when I tell him this- he's still concerned that I am going to be knocked up.
Honestly people I am completely stumped by this one!! Did we have sex or didn't we? It's not like sleep walking, I am pretty sure I would remember- or at least I sure as shit hope I would. Honestly at this moment it's still a mystery. I am confused and don't know what to make of it. Has anyone else out there ever had this happen to them? I am kinda bugging about it. Regardless as to how strange it is, one thing is certain- it's not worth throwing away a tall, funny, and successful Richard Gere type. I will keep you posted as to the out come.
Love Ya!!
VK
I love this!!! I have totally had this happen to me, he sounds to good to throw away. Unless he is crudely speaking (hung like a hamster)I hope you just didn't have sex. I totally did, then there was the last guy who was convinced we did, and I knew we didn't, that's where the term came from. No way that puppy was getting in there; And I didn't want it, and he totally thought I did, it was an endless cycle of why oh why am I here? Do I need to date this badly? I kept waiting for my other friend to come back to this coast, but he hates me too. But this is your blog, I should put this all on mine, loved reading yours, you slay me!!! Keep me posted, I'm going to Anaheim tomorrow-East coast meets West Coast.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the East meets West adventure! I would love to meet up with you but I am on set all day and night! :( I as far as the tall handsome guy is concerned... I am stumped completely as to what happened. FUCKING WEIRD!! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I will keep you posted!!!
ReplyDeleteI think that he was trying to pull a Jedi mind trick on you...If he convinced you that you already had sex than you would be more willing to have sex again therefore he would be guarenteed to get laid on your next date...which may have happened organically, but it's like hitting on 17 at blackjack, you could lose just as big as you can win. Risky but definitely gets a b+ for effort. Either that or he is a sleep masturbator.
ReplyDeleteDef- I love your take on the whole situation! Sleep masturbator... didn't know that was even out there! LOL. I also think the Jedi Mind Trick may very well be his thing.... Thanks for the thoughts!! Take care!
ReplyDeleteHe was totally trying to fake you out to try and get you to have sex with him the next morning. Didn't work with me back in the day, d they think we are that stupid? Hello? you can kinda tell!!
ReplyDeleteLucid dreams can be scary and very convincing. I blame your blog for suggesting sex while unconscious for my disorientation the other morning! I swear, nothing happened.
ReplyDeleteIt was all in the head.
Unknown- LMAO!!!!! I have never experienced a lucid sexual dream like that so I can't figure it out. But I still think the Jedi mind trick is a plausible scenario. I mean the guy owns a paparazzi company they live off making things seem different then they really are to benefit themselves.... Just saying. :)
ReplyDeleteAwww I never considered that... Hmm, once the pressure is off, it is always easier to slide back in.
ReplyDelete~Trina (AKA Unknown)